Moments
by PerfectMisfit
Summary: It's only when he thinks back on all the fun times he shared with his brother does he remember how much he really misses Gene.


**I don't own Ghost Hunt obviously :(. Booo...**

**And please don't flame me for whatever details clash with the series. It's been a while since I last read/saw GH. So...erm...enjoy? And reviews and concrit are more than welcome (:.**

-x-

He's tried so many times to _socialise, _as Gene puts it. He's human, honestly and he's tired of people calling him a machine. So maybe his idea of fun isn't amusement parks and movie theatres or girls and bars–but that doesn't make him a robot. And so, he resolves, after much fun being poked at him, to get as close as he can to becoming a social butterfly. Oliver Davis did not take mockery lightly.

He wakes up the next morning to the sound of Gene's cheerful "good morning" and with much frustration, he forces as much as cheer as he can manage into his reply. He rolls out of bed and gets dressed and comes down for breakfast, wearing a stiff smile which shocks his parents.

That week turned out to be an absolutely horrible week for him. What with Gene dragging him all over England (okay, that was slight exaggeration on his part) on foot and taking him to every amusement park that probably existed and forcing him to watch every movie that had ever been released and actually fixing him up a date with some girl he knew as Gene's girlfriend's cousin, who wouldn't find it annoying? Especially that girl, God, he had never known anyone who could talk as much as she could.

He found it hard to understand how Gene lived in this world–with its noise and hubbub and constant distractions. There was just no peace and quiet and he would wake up with pounding headaches.

Obstinacy and mockery be damned, he decides. And people can call him a machine if they want to, he simply cannot handle 'socialising'. He _needs _his silence.

-x-

At fourteen, Noll really didn't know how else to react to this kind of shocking news. Gene just suddenly waltzed into their bedroom all excited and flushed and announced that he had found himself a girlfriend. If Noll were not himself, his jaw would have dropped open in surprise. A girlfriend–really, why did he need one? Gene had him, didn't he? And girls were so annoying; they always needed your attention and they expected you to take them out and buy gifts for them and...

...He felt like this girlfriend of Gene's was replacing him.

Of course, he wasn't jealous, because Oliver Davis is totally above jealousy, but the last thing he wanted was for Gene to have a girlfriend. She's probably mistake him for Gene and it'd be so awkward explaining that he wasn't Gene. And he wouldn't be able to focus on his parapsychology in peace either.

Gene brings his girlfriend over for the first time on a Sunday afternoon. Her name was Marlene and even Noll had to admit, she was rather beautiful with her long blonde hair and winsome blue eyes. She was polite, charming and always smiling–what was there not to like about her? His parents fell in love with her immediately–not that pleasing them was a hard thing. And she complimented Gene perfectly.

_And you're left out now, aren't you, Ollie?_

Then one evening when Gene's out with that blasted squirrel he calls a girlfriend; he sulks on the living room couch. It's not fair, he rages internally–Gene would ignore him now and his parents would expect _him _to get a girlfriend. Luella Davis notices her younger son grumbling on their couch and seats herself next to him.

"Is there something wrong Noll?" She asked, placing a hand atop her son's head and trying to ignore his attempts to swat away her hand.

"No."

"Come on, you can tell Mum."

"Gene's got a girlfriend."

"So?"

"Now he'll ignore me and...and...why does he even need one in the first place?" Sceptical tone. Raised eyebrows.

"Noll, you're being silly. Gene loves Marlene in a different way. Someday you'll get a girlfriend too, you know. It's all part of growing up."

He has to admit, her words make sense. Four days after the aforementioned conversation takes place, Gene comes home glum and unsmiling. Luella guesses what's wrong and like a good mother, leaves him alone. Gene walks up to their bedroom and throws himself on his bed. Noll's curled up on the other end, reading something.

"We broke up; Marlene and I." His voice that clearly spoke of heartbreak broke the silence.

Noll hates to admit it, but even though it's _wrong _he's finally satisfied.

-x-

Christmas was often a source of jokes in the Davis family, sometimes even poking a smile or two out of Noll–them being very rare, of course. That Christmas was no different–Noll hated the bleak days, the slush-covered roads, the off-key carols that five-year-olds sang at his doorstep and the fact that his family was pushing him to decorate the tree with them this year.

And then came the surprise and for the first time in his short fifteen years of life, Noll felt truly alone.

Gene announced that he would be going to Japan in January–some sort of a project apparently. Luella threw a fit–there was absolutely no way she would let her son go off to another country. Martin calmed her down and suggested that Gene needed a break and he saw no harm in it. And Noll simply sat by the fire and stared at the orange flames, wishing this day never existed, Gene was lying or that he was deaf and hadn't heard what Noll just said.

This couldn't be happening–it...it was him and Gene. They were meant to be together. Call it immature; although he was anything but, despite his unsociable nature, the last thing he wanted was Gene to leave him...

Christmas was a day of cheer, of opening presents or laughter, of joy, of happiness–of everything that didn't reduce you to tears. He watched his mother cry into her hands and a part of him raged inside on how much Gene was hurting them.

"I'll be back, little bro."

God, Noll hated that line.

Because Gene never came back.

-x-

He remembers he was extremely angry that day. January seventeenth–he fought with Gene that morning. It wasn't their usual tiffs or small quarrels, no, it was a major one. He doesn't even remember what they fought about, now.

They rode to the airport in silence. Not one word was spoken in the car, not one smile exchanged, not even so much as an "I'm going to miss you" look was given. Luella didn't come, feeling coming would be a way of saying goodbye to her elder son, which she wasn't prepared to do. Martin recognised the tension in the air in the car and kept himself shut, allowing his sons to work out whatever problems they had on their own.

Gene left. Noll didn't say goodbye–no, he just had to left his pathetic ego get in the way.

Now he regrets what he did. Maybe, if he had said that goodbye...

-x-

They would talk to each other a few times through psychometrics–it wasn't extremely reliable as their messages often came through warped or distorted or sometimes varied with their moods, but it was the closest connection they had. Letters and emails and phone calls felt so distant to them.

That day, as he sat fingering Gene's old brown wallet, the first thing he noticed was that the reading came up in green–that meant death. He frowned; Gene wasn't dead.

A telegram arrived that day–another vivid thing he remembered. His parents read it and then they went all funny. They refused to tell him what it was about; his mother cried throughout the day, refusing to believe the news she had received. His father spent his time attempting to console her, while trying to hold back his tears as well.

And Noll was left out of whatever their misery was.

It was after much snooping that Noll discovered the telegram and its contents; Gene was indeed dead–the victim of a hit and run accident. His body had yet to be discovered, but witnesses claimed that they had seen Gene die.

He couldn't describe how he felt at that moment; anguished? Upset? Empty? His brother, his other half was gone. It was like a part of him was missing.

If only he had said that one goodbye to Gene, maybe he wouldn't feel like he had kicked his brother out of his own house.

-x-

"I'm leaving for Japan. I have to find Gene's body." He states, determined.

"No," Luella shakes her head. "no, no, no, Noll."

"I have to..." he can't believe how pathetic his own voice sounds to his ears. "I..."

He knows he'll never be able to sleep, knowing his brother's body is lost out there, is seeking solace, knowing there's no one out there who'll give him the funeral he deserves, knowing he's not going to see his parents, his family ever again...

"Noll, no, you're...you're being stupid-" Luella chides. She's scared, he notes. She's scared of losing another son.

"I have to."

With tears in her eyes and the burning desire to slap some sense into her son, Luella agrees to his irrational request grudgingly.

-x-

It's his sixteenth birthday–he feels so weird calling it his birthday, it's always been, 'their' birthday or 'our' birthday to him. It's always plural, not singular.

Mai went out and got him a birthday cake that said "Happy birthday Naru" in blue icing along with streamers and party hats, both of which Noll refused to wear, despite everyone's pleas. He was not four, damnit! Lin's been considerate enough to hide Gene's existence from everyone.

He stares at his birthday cake; the knife is still in his hands. He doesn't want to cut it–he can't feel the familiar warmth of another hand on his, cutting the cake along with him. There are two people, not one person turning sixteen on September the nineteenth and it's painful to accept that only one of them was present and alive. Only one of them would talk again, walk again, see his family again...would live.

"Gene," Noll whispers to himself. "I wish you were here."

-x-


End file.
